Ponder

Get out of the boat

Ringing in my ear

Your voice chiming in

Ever so clear

So I stop

Ponder

What does this mean

I thought I was walking with You

Like I had been the last few years

But maybe

Just maybe

I’ve climbed back in

Out of confusion and fear

Yet I know

I truly know the effect of the waves

Stronger

Rougher

Rockier

When in the boat I do sit

Self Steering

Self Navigating

Leading not following

So maybe

Just maybe

I need to step out again

Step upon the sea that You can still

That You can calm with Your voice

Stopping it’s ferocity

Breaking the hold it has on me

As on You I look

Acknowledging Your splendour

To You I surrender

God placed the word ponder on my heart; it’s something I do naturally through poetry and journaling, but now it’s something I will be doing purposefully. Making time in my day for a purposeful pause. To think on what is happening in my life, what the Lord is wanting of me and trying to understand whatever season I find myself in.

In my time with God I have really felt Him highlight the word fear and how I’ve allowed fear to take hold of me again!

It’s not unusual for fear to grip us but usually we understand why. I have felt lost in my fear recently, not knowing if I’m coming or going emotionally, but until recently I hadn’t put my finger on why. A recent conversation I had unlocked the answer; the fear of not fitting in had come back into play in my life because of all the changes that had come our way since my husband and I stepped down from the leadership of a local church.

Understanding where the fear had come from and what had sparked it, I remembered something the Lord spoke to me years ago, when I had previously struggled to see where I fitted in this world…

’My child you fit in me!’

With this knowledge; I began to move forward once again and put my trust in the Lord as it says in Psalm 56:3. To trust that in this season, even though it feels so different, He is at work. He has a plan and good things will come out of it as I take a step out of the boat.

There is a song I love, which I feel is so appropriate in this season; it’s called ’Oceans’…

You call me out upon the waters The great unknown where feet may fail And there I find You in the mystery In oceans deep my faith will stand Your grace abounds in deepest waters Your sovereign hand will be my guide Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me You've never failed and You won't start now Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders Let me walk upon the waters Wherever You would call me Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander And my faith will be made stronger In the presence of my Saviour

I will call upon Your Name Keep my eyes above the waves My soul will rest in Your embrace I am Yours and You are mine Source: LyricFind Songwriters: Joel Houston / Matt Crocker / Salomon Lighthelm Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) (Reloaded) (audio) lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Capitol Christian Music Group, Songtrust Ave

Whatever is going on in your life right now; maybe something that you’re finding a little difficult, making you feel out of sync, muddled or confused hold on to the truth that you fit in Him!

I am penned in love and so are you!