If Faith Can Move The Mountains

I had a rather idyllic childhood in many ways; happy family and great adventures in the mountains and valleys of North Wales, but from a young age I was battling insecurities that I had burried deep. I was born with a condition called Rickets that causes bone deformities in my body, short stature, pain and many other things. Looking different to others made me a target for those who needed a verbal punch bag. I grew up believing the untruths spoken to me by those in my village, school, college and work place; I believed I was ugly, useless, worthless and weak. Those feelings were further exacerbated when my parents divorced - my safe, secure, wonderful bubble of protection had popped and I felt alone like I was sinking into a deep pit of darkness.

’If faith can move the mountains,

Let the mountains move,

We come with expectation,

Waiting here for You.

You’re the Lord of all creation

And still You know my heart,

The author of salvation

You‘ve loved us from the start’

Song by Christy Nockels

By the age of 21 I felt lonelier than ever; family members had moved on with their lives since the divorce, new marriages and partners, new homes and jobs. I had to leave my job and start living off the benefits system due to the worsening of my physical health. At this point I was on crutches and unable to do the activities I once loved. I hated myself!

But..

I‘d been attending a church for a few years; working in the Sunday school, sitting with, chatting to and colouring alongside the children there. Slowly over time I began to explore the Bible, wanting to understand why these little ones got so excited when they heard the words ‘Jesus loves you.’ I wanted to feel loved, I‘d been searching for love for many years but in all the wrong places.

One evening, after a horrid day, I cried out to God, prayed the prayer of salvation (after turning to Google to find a prayer of salvation!) and instantly I was enveloped in this amazing, overwhelming love.

Over the next few months I read the Bible like it was Oxygen, I needed it and it was the only thing that got me through the day. As time went on I accepted and lived in the love of Jesus, I grew to accept my Rickets, my height, the way I walked, my parents separation, I was able to forgive in my heart those who had wronged me and I was able to look in the mirror without crying at who I saw looking back at me.

Today at the age of 35 I am a wife and a Mam; we have our own beautiful home, I’m surrounded by people who love me and accept me for who I am. I still battle insecurities but now they don’t hold me back for I continue to stand tall (although I’m only 4ft7) and firm in my faith and the love of Jesus. He truly is a mountain mover and over the months to come I will share with you the mountains He has moved in my life.

His word is still Oxygen to me and the reason that I breathe today.

Jesus loves you, you are Penned in Love!